Words to Survive By....

People ask me often how it is to have four children. It is hard. Harder than I could have imagined. I'm not in a deep dark depression, but days are very long and I never seem to have enough time and energy to get even the basics done. At any given time there is someone who needs something. It has been a balancing act to get everyone the attention and time they need, especially poor Brian who never complains! He has spent two of the last three weeks out of commission with appendix surgery and complications. I feel like if my life was a marathon, this would be the uphill portion. This is the part of the race that makes or breaks you.
I have spent the last week trying to get my home more organized so that keeping it tidy is easier. There is such a peace that resides when the counters are clear and the laundry is folded. I do feel like I am learning great things that will make me a better person. So if my dear, neglected husband can hang in there and my boys look past the mood swings, I think we will come out the other side a strong family. My sister found this quote the other day and it has become my words to live by:

"Recognize that they joy of motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction."

Elder M. Russell Ballard

So here are a few of my moments this month:

Laundry is way more fun when it isn't folded, especially when it is four loads at a time! The boys constantly remind me to enjoy the journey, even if everything is perfect or the way I planned.

The flowers my boys got me for Valentines. I love that Brian is already teaching them this very important skill.

I loved this morning. Ben and Jeffey waiting for my sister to pick them up for school. I'm so glad they have eachother. They are all such good friends. They think having brothers is great.

The two "Waynes". Jeff and Papa doing yard work. I really wouldn't make if far without family. One of the best memories of the week.

There are some days when I wonder if our kids are too close together, if they get enough individual attention, and enough of me. Then I come out of my bedroom from getting ready and find this. The boys had made forts with the couch cusions. One for Ben, one for Jeff, one for Luke and the little red one is for Baby Henry. Yep, I got a little teary eyed. It made me realize that is isn't as much about me as I think sometimes. They have eachother and we were able to give that to them. My joy comes from watching them take care of their brothers wherever we go. In these moments, I wouldn't change a thing.